Happy Towel Day, everyone!

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Arthur: "What happens if I press this button?"
Ford: "I wouldn't-"
Arthur: "Oh."
Ford: "What happened?"
Arthur: "A sign lit up, saying 'Please do not press this button again.'”

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

"In fact to see anything much uglier than a Vogon ship you would have to go
inside and look at a Vogon. If you are wise, however, this is precisely what you
will avoid doing because the average Vogon will not think twice before doing
something so pointlessly hideous to you that you will wish you had never been
born - or (if you are a clearer minded thinker) that the Vogon had never been

'Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.' 'Why not?' 'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.'

"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day."

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”

"it is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it."

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