Probabilita @kora@chaos.social

Ich finde es ja schön, dass mein Nail Tech offenbar genug vertrauen zu mir hat spontan Traumageschichten zu erzählen aber ufff wenn ich dann da plötzlich sitze und dissoziiere weil das war so plötzlich ist auch nicht so großartig.

"Warum haben Sie denn plötzlich so nen glasigen Blick"

Eigentlich bin ich ja auch keine Programmiererin, sondern eine Codemasseuse.

Ohhh, ahhh, da sind aber große Knoten. So das tut jetzt kurz ordentlich weh aber hinterher sinds gleich vier Funktionen weniger und der Rest vom Team kann auch weitermachen.

Vor mir im Zug sitzt ein kleines Kind das jedes mal sehr entgeistert guckt wenn ich meowe oder andere tics habe. Es ist sehr goldig.

Personal achievement: Finding a reason to add a paradiselost.txt to a business code repository.

Ich bin dieses Wochenende in Dresden. Gibt es Menschen die ich Treffen oder Dinge die ich tun sollte?

Marine biology would have been a good choice too.

"Oh you're queer and want to be a scientist? You should go into Anthropology" they said: "You can go to the theater to study homo sapiens and to a night club to study homo erectus."

But I transitioned and naturally went into computer science.

See me write my code in diagonal lines
tons of lambdas at my side
I take them everywhere I co[a]de
I'm a functional coder in java

I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm a functional coder in java

I did a software archeology and unearthed a gem…a. The GEneral purpose MAcro processor which provides a EBNF-like syntax for parsing and processing text!

https://github.com/koraa/gema

I knew programming in java was magic, but why did it have to be blood magic?

Utopian hackers group therapy – Learning to retain hope and work towards a brighter future.

https://media.ccc.de/v/rc3-2021-haecksen-438-utopian-hackers-gr

*screams* I would like to gently wave some sense into the designers of the java language and explain to them that `Optional<T>` not supporting null values unwavering leads to `Optional<Optional<T>>` in any generic APIs that needs to support null values.

Especially if you're using `Optional<>` for out of band signaling null values.

Null -> invalid
Optional.empty() -> unset
Optional.of(Optional.empty()) -> Set to value null.
Optional.of(Optional.of(X)) -> Set to value x.

What happens if I put acetic 60% acid in the base of a moka pot and washing soda in the top? Do I get a Bomb?

Now where do I get a used heating plate, bomb shelter, high speed camera and youtube video sponsor to try.

What happens if I add termite?

Now featuring the standard headers X-Real-IP, X-Real-IP-Actually and X-Realip (the third one is set to 127.0.0.1 always)

Apache or nginx?

Neither, choose docker and you will be running 35 nginx instances and 74 apache instances and a haproxy on the same server.

Moving on to shell scripts featuring transactions implemented using metaprogramming and something as close to a monad as I can get in. (I don't have to explain myself here, I am clearly an evil genius and will definitely turn to my freeze ray after this)