Pinned toot
Pinned toot

We are but a humble enby and these are our toots

The company we're working for put up this flyer. If you teach 200 hours (not counting prep, travel, or administrative work, nor late cancellations). The joke here is that they'd have 200 hours worth of work for us, even over 3 months. This month, they had 30.

Germans will lecture you about following all the rules as they light a cigarette in front of the "no smoking" sign

🎶It's girls like you that make me think I'm better off,
Home on a Saturday night with all my doors locked up tight,
I won't be thinkin about you, baby
🎶





Tired: putting in earbuds to hear music

Wired: putting in earbuds so you don't hear this other asshole's music

Inspired: still hearing this fuck's shitty music over your own

So I'm a liar
And you're a thief
At least we both know where
The other one sleeps

How come you never hear politicians shit on the police union?

Ticket inspectors apparently get pissed when you demand to see their ID badge. I wonder how hard it would be to skim a few hundred electronic tickets by just riding around faking it, since apparently nobody demands to know who's checking their ticket and photo ID? They should have to wear a uniform if they're wanna-be pigs.

420 

I have seen The Picture and while it's not as bad as everyone says, I still didn't need that in my life

Mea culpa mea culpa
Should I pray occult?
A systematic Catholic
Or sigil of Baphomet unravelin'
- Aesop Rock

I don't even know what I'm teaching yet. Probably won't even look until I get there. I know this book backwards and forwards anyway

Goddamn we have to teach a class for 5 hours tomorrow and I already don't want to

If someone posts a greeting like "Good Morning," I always respond. It's just polite. Even if I'm jealous they're waking up at 11 and they're in my time zone

Spending the day with the kids. Thing 2 is teething, so she's alternating sweet and cuddly with bitchy and high-pitched screaming. Thing 1 is his usual self. Another quiet morning

Call 911
I'm already dead but
Someone should be caught and responsible
For this bloody mess
Call homicide
Take the case to court
Cause her lips taste like a loaded gun
I'm her number one
Chalk outline on the floor

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