Nanouk is a user on chaos.social. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse.
Hey #polyamorous people and #relationshipanarchists, how do you deal with feelings of jealousy and guilt when it comes to relationships? Are you taking proactive steps before they can happen? Are you talking about that with your partner(s)?
I would like to know new ways of dealing with this.
@pandanouk
a) accept that those feelings are going to be there and that that's OK
b) try to find out (together) what these feelings tell us about our needs and our relationship
c) try to find ways do deal with stuff that everyone involved is fine with
Personally I find moments of jealousy interesting, but only because I can rely on my partner to take me and my feelings seriously and is going to deal with it with me.
@pandanouk talking about it is key for me. Figuring out the needs of all people involved and finding compromises that work for everyone.
Also, what I usually do: I try to do something that is fun for me but something the person I miss is not into. Certain video games or programming do the try for me. It's kind of an act of defiance, something along the lines of "okay, you have fun. Well, *I* can have fun too!" and will this sound counterproductive, it helps me a lot.